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These stories, sent in by users of the site, have the particularity of beginning with today, and ending with fml, the initials of fmylife Today, i spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what i thought was heavy bloody diarrhea Fmls are a great place to express yourself, in a more or less free way, but always with the aim of being funny.
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Today, i discovered that i sometimes talk in my sleep Today, i work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, i woke up to him telling me to leave
I have no idea what i could have said
He still won't talk to me Today, i found a video of a school play i starred in years ago I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood i have left Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, ahh shit, and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about those fucking commies. fml
Today, i found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms Today, i went on a date with a guy I lost interest in him quick, so i excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills
As soon as i reached the front door, our server yells out, i hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing! fml
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because i’m the fattest I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think i’m stealing entire bags of food Today, i wore new shoes to work They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor
People thought it was funny at first, but then i had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going squeak, squeak, squeak for 45 seconds straight By the time i got back, my nickname was now apparently “squeaker of the house. Laugh life off by sharing your daily mishaps and embarrassments, because it’s good to share.
